the fratiny of life

today,someone ended his life from my block.my dad just asked me if i saw the corpse when i went to school today.

Take a breath
I pull myself together
Just another step till I reach the door
You'll never know the way it tears me up inside to see you
I wish that I could tell you something
To take it all away

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there're so many things that I want you to know
I won't give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

When I hear your voice
Its drowning in a whisper
It's just skin and bones
There's nothing left to take
And no matter what I do I can't make you feel better
If only I could find the answer
To help me understand

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there're so many things that I want you to know
I wont give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

That if you fall, stumble down
I'll pick you up off the ground
If you lose faith in you
I'll give you strength to pull through
Tell me you won't give up cause I'll be waiting if you fall
Oh you know I'll be there for you

have you ever wondered when it will be your turn when you looked at others' photographs of them at various places of the world,eating and partying and enjoying what they are experiencing at that point of time?

心有余而力不足

the past few days have been very humid.and hot and sweaty for everyone i guess.
saw the inconvenient truth by al gore during environmental science lesson today.and i must say,after watching for a seond time.there are still many intriguing things about the film,how meticulously every problem is portrayed and how skeptical and apathetic are the people really are in america.and probably the world elsewhere as well.there have been critics that say that al gore is using this as a tool of propaganda to get everyone else's attention.and i can say that this tool is indeed powerful.at least for me.


time's running out.how?

bored and tired and lost and listless

hi.i'm jiahong.this is my blog.a big welcome to all the readers.do leave a comment or tag when you drop by.
i'm very listless now.so thats all
ciao

hmm,you know something
its strange.whenever i decides and takes a rest...maybe a week or less,maybe two days.and inevitably,whenever tuesday or saturday's core training comes round.i will somehow have to force myself to attend it.its like wah 1 week liao.cui liao.
and while on the other hand,i am struggling,mentally and psychologically with myself,trying to ravage those imbecile thoughts that purge me almost constantly,(proving that i almost everytime overwork my brains).those thoughts are real,can kill.i don't want to end up going for conuselling sessions like back in ntss.an accidentally phrase...imagine a psycho athelte...

phenomenon

The song maker says, "It ain't so bad"
The dream maker's gonna make you mad
The spaceman says, "Everybody look down
Its all in your mind"


today,Mac was unusually rough.managed to do a 6km before pack up.and man,the water's really like kallang.
2 days into school and things are getting tough.practicals are like shit.there's more sessions than last term and the lectures stretch into the evening.like that how to eh kan...and trainings are getting tougher..
can go eat shit already.

this is a nice film.thanks for the recommendation classmates.
just that the lead doesnt get killed and somehow he is invincible and doesnt get traced down.

school starting tomorrow!
the past two days have been spent working,like an idiot seriously.but i am glad that i made new friends.and had fun.
but well..life has to return back to normal.when school starts..

warped in time

i like to think alot.although it may not appear so on the surface.i like to think alot during bus rides.especially so when i plug in my ipod and i let the songs that i like to hear run.

today 09/04/2009
had late breakfast with the leftover guys at KAP.emo zj and comical anchun was around.i swear the sausage mcmuffin with egg that i had is smaller than pamela anderson's boobs.then,i saw weiliang,ex-colleague from num,with his gf.should be the same one.
took 75 direct back to home.and this is where the whole thing started.
a friendly ah cek got up the bus around hollland area,took a seat on my right,i was seating on the outer seat.then,he beo me.once.then i continue listening to my ipod.then he beo me again,then i thought,maybe its coz i was wearing the striking red jersey.then nevermind.then he beo me again,then i beo him back.
he alighted at the same stop as me,apparently going to grand copthorne to work.i hope so.
after i pressed the bell and tried to stand up to leave my inner seat(i shifted in),my head got koked onto the aircon ventilator,and he opps-ed!then when i walked towards the door,he asked;"boy.you in canoe team?"then i said uh.and i alighted.
this is my second brush with another ah cek,first being on the train towards ten penis during mr500.this guy apparently tried to remind me that my ID card was dropping when it was hung onto my bag.(i placed my bag on the floor)

its 12.18pm.time is precious,don't waste it like how you waste hotel water when you brush teeth.

today,i think and think and think and i finally got it.time is precious!
why am i spending/wasting my time on canoeing.long weekends ahead.4 days.cause today alot of pinoys were on 75,apparently going for mass on easter eve.
you see,so many things happened since O levels ended.i joined num and i quit.people joined num and they quit.i went cjc and i dropped out.people went cjc canoeing and they managed to balance on their boats already.2 semesters/1 year has passed,and i got a gpa of 2.7.
out of the newtowners that i reckon.many has led their own lives.many has gotten the other half.(i not despo)
how may nights of mambo has passed since semester break begun.i have been staring at the crowd on mambo nights,probably everytime.the number of las vegas ladies i have seen.(countless).number of times i have gone.(0)
what will i be doing if i hadn't joined canoeing.would i be wasting time away with glen and wynn and company,trying to play maple/dota when apparently i am not cut out to play.or would i be a nerd/emo,always spending time with myself,lsitening to my ipod and taking long bus rides.
and would i have had a girlfriend?(i not despo,i say again)
time is precious,don't waste it like water.
how many cross-country races have you seen at macritchie since semester break started and you went for morning row.probably 2?
i must seriously plan my time and not waste it on hopeless internet surfing anymore.its been 3 months since my 18th has passed.i have got classmate whom has already almost gotten their car license already.
i want to:
get a car license
get an open water diving cert
get a uniqlo tee
eat buffet and eat western food(but can also eat until sian one)
get a new fish tank(but i don't think its possible)

i think i have been saying all these since semester break started.now,semester break is ending soon in one week's time.
i swear i sibeh gao tu.i have wasted 4 fucking weeks of my time and i havent register yet.wahlan eh
no more hesitation.i think i going to bukit batok soon.

把爱收进胸前左边口袋.(that means the heart lar.)

one last shot

period.

alter-thinking

i am the type of person who will judge my own expectations before talking about others.i feel that if i am not able to reach a certain standard,one shouldn't be talking and worst still criticizing others. that may place me in a rather inferior position since i am not a jack-of-all-trades.
and i tend to do things more comfortably in small groups,including offering ideas and etc.
always,people comment that i'm inconfident of myself and that i have to stand up more for myself.Its true in a way you see.

shall blog more another day.feeling really tired

t.e.a.m. (more than it meets the eye)

working together as a team may not be as easy as saying it out.it may be easy,initially.After some time,when the "thing" wears off and people's true shades start to show,its a matter of how you cope and react to one another's reaction that is the real gist.You can forget about all those cheering up and caring talks which will bring you morale high.and drop you really high too.
This is especially so when someone in the team attempts to bring up a point or to get across his/her idea,and the reaction of the others in the team is even more important.
I feel that this is even worse in sports team,where everyone trains together,and you know how bad it can get when someone's tired and someone else is trying to put across a point which you personally don't really agree to.And the extent of tiredness also affects how well you accept the idea being put across.

-----------------------------------------------
i don't really know why i'm feeling this.maybe because i'm tired,after having a tough training in the morning.but i feel that i'm wasting my every saturday by hanging out with my friends in town,doing worthless things like lan gaming or pooling.but what else is there to do man?i don't know what part in life am i missing.but there's just something missing,something left out after exhausting out all the legal activities to do on a saturday night...

infection(zombie)

i literally spent my whole day walking around jalan besar today.and i managed to try some of the more famous foodstalls there.fish soup was great.and the curry rice is damn good.i believe it would be better if i didn't still have the trace of sore throat.
and cause we got nothing better to do,we decided to chiong LAN.played L4D for the first time and my opinion is that its better way better than dota and CS.and coincidentally saw the year 3s.quite coincidentally.

and i havent gotten what i want.apparently i have no idea what i really want now.

timeless

當你 喜歡 一個人時，你想和他在一起，因為他會帶給你快樂；

離開後，你會想念，想著想著就會笑，然後繼續你平靜的生活，並期待著與他再一次重逢。

當你愛 一個人時，你想和他在一起，那是一種牽腸掛肚的捨不得，怕他受委屈，怕他不能好好照顧自己；

離開後，你也會想念，想著想著歎一口氣，'不知他現在過的怎樣？'

然後你繼續你平靜的生活，希望他早日回到你身邊。

infection

felt rather shittish when i was on the car to mac this morning.firstly,training made me really tired and i can't imagine myself doing distance again today.
but when i got there,i saw mr lie.sitting alone.outside the shed.listening to his hopeless nano.
placed my bag down.and went to use porta pumpers.the orange last few.saw zj going down and he probably missed me cause he was on his earphones too.
above the toilet bowl was a sign which read"flush before and after use".
i tried flushing before i peed and i got conned.it was stinkbomb so i decided to just flush after use.
went up.loncle came then benny came.and then ruiyi.got the keys and took out the boats.still feeling rather shittish.and reluctant.coach wasnt around yet so i did warmups of 2x500m.still feeling quite okay.and then tried out the strokes.
coach came.went to pontoon.and told us to do 2km.and he said that he will take out a c-1 and go along with us.felt shocked and equally anticipating the appearance of the baby blue boat.and then,did maneuvering along the buoys till 500m.and then down again.and he taught us a couple of new strokes.tried it out and he said that i was too stiff.until i managed to capsize and tried it out in a more relaxed manner.
today's training wasnt that bad.and i felt good after attending.and probably,it was a somewhat different session.something more intimate.and more experiencing.