don’t use something/someone as a motivation because if that thing is gone, you’re a gonner. you must self motivate

its something i got from mervin's blog.well...what should i say?i have been practising this,but well,my source of motivation.that particular person/people are never near me.at least i know that they existed in my life.so i guess i must start finding my own self-motivationxzxz,yeap!

after we left the basketball court in search of other things to do,sam's phone sudden rang.It turned out to be Andrew,who's asking for DOTA partners.i contemplated.But as you know me,i'd rather spend the friday evening by myself pigging out at some place that i wanna try and end up blaming myself why i didnt spend it well with kakis.Then,i somehow got convinced by the two abangs present,YYH and sam,and started to follow them towards the main library's direction.Walking up the steps leading to Moberly,i began speaking about what i would do if i didnt follow them and that i didnt have dinner at home either.I knew YYH had dinner at home,so its okay and that i would dine by myself.sam probably has some programme after dotaing.and then i said wah..how i would eat and stuff.and then sam said,huh..you also another one that dont have family love ah..*sniggers*.nevermind!we will eat dinner with you!
Hearing that made me so much happier on this if-not-normal-friday.I thought it was a continuation from last week's hassan episode!haha

Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,



i strongly second what tmz said over debrief just now,that we shouldnt see the training plan and decide whether to attend trgs.i think its bloody true.and its okay for me,just no pushups,im a pussy..i cant take pushup and pushup mongers.and yes!i manage to retrieve back my M-O-T-I-V-A-T-I-O-N.

i promised myself that i should try to do best.at least if i cant. do manage to last.i still have something to look back.at least a participant or something.that i have achieved something.
remember hanxun?remember gabriel?remember timothy?gerald?cephas?hwajie?and all the other cj canoiests?yeah.you should prove to them that you can stay on and might as well pwn them in champs next year.
and i know that this kind of drive will not last long.i must find soemthing to replace it...sooner...

and all those going for RUKR.i have faith in you guys.and even though i am not participating,i will help you guys to carry the boats and etc on the day before.and very impt,must control diet ah!

eh,canoeing your hobby ah?

so.after its all said and done.
sports is STILL something that requires your own passion.
then again...what about people that says ah shit.i cant kope..my grades like shit..sorry.needa study..but again..you came poly to study right.but yeah.
so the end point.you like it.has passion for it.you will find ways to cope with it.his doesnt pertain to whatsoever reasons that might affect you otherwise.

and after so much wondering.i finally agreed with the point that jw told me ages ago that,aiya adults and us like people in the same way one la.just that theirs include making out.and its true you see.many people see one another and fall for each other.just like how sec 2 or those sec 3 kias.its the same.just that the way they see things.financially more stable?maybe dress sense abit...other than that still the same way.
and friends too.they are closer to those whom they always hangout.unless you say its those old schoolmates that aiya,long time no see.go drinking leh kind.if not,well,its uh.you not going?come la,bring your family along.uh cannot.aiya then nvm,see you lor kind.
it practically functions the same way.

and i miss alot of things.
i missed working in nff.at least i still have extra bucks to spare when i need them.i miss communicating with the kakis there.i miss interacting with people.i think i'm degrading on this point.makes me..umm.less confidence in speaking up and talking.

bleak times ahead.indeed

i'm down with sore throat.and the fever started kicking in today.aches throbbed the back of my head just hours ago in the evening.thankfully,the fever subsided.good thing to know that the body has stopped fighting the bacterial infection probably.

and,for a moment,he sounded almost like hassan.the way he sacrificed himself for amir.
"I'd rather i fall down than you.You're doing the c boat.and you like almost on the verge of quitting already."
And for that moment,i felt glad,glad that finally,someone felt my presence.at least.i suppose.

okay.i read mervin's blog last week and i found that he tagged me in this quiz.so here goes.

01) The person who tagged:
» Mervin

02) Your relationship with him/her is:
»Teammate,senior.

3) Your five impressions on him/her:
» Serious
» Weird at times.
» Avid Photographer
» Rather emo
» Don't talk alot unlike other seniors

04) The most memorable thing that he/she had done for you:
» Turning back and appearing at the wrong time when i am saying something wrong.

05) The most memorable thing that he/she had said to you:
» "jiahong,have more confidence in yourself."

06) If he/she becomes your lover, you will:
» NO WAY!

07) If he/she becomes your lover, thing he/she has to improve on will be:
» He's a nice guy.maybe the way he talks and how he always looks at other things when he speaks.

08) If he/she becomes your enemy, you will:
» I think i will most probably suffer.

09) If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be:
» that i wasted the school's money on buying paddles and sponge and that he will be damn disappointed cause i decided to back out of the team due to whatsoever reason.

10) The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now is:
» Don't really have anything presently.

11) Your overall impression of him/her is:
» Quiet

12) How you think people around you will feel about you?
» Shy?Weird?Seldom talk.

13) The characteristic you love of yourself are:
» Being able to reach down to the lowest level of speaking and allow myself to talk to anyone who knows me well and talk about their life.how they feel and such things.

14) On the contrary, the characteristic you hate of yourself are:
» lots.unable to make friends easily.thinks too much and ponder over unnecessary thoughts.over-react at times.feels that why i cannot do this while others can.always don't have enough self confidence.

15) The most ideal person you want to be is:
» a mix of everyone.haha

16) For people who cares and likes you, say something to them:
» HELLO!talk to me even if i don't reply to you.i will when i have the time!

17) Pass this quiz to 10 persons that you wish to know how they feel about you?

» (1) Penny
» (2) Shufei
» (3) Jiawei
» (4) Glen
» (5) Ruyi
» (6) Evina
» (7) Samuel
» (8) Eugene Tham
» (9)
» (10)

18) Who is no.6 having relationship with?
» i don't think she is in a relationship.

19) Is no. 9 a male or female?
» blank

20) If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?
» blank

22) What is no.2 studying about?
» Interior Design

23) When is the last time you had a chat with no.3:
»Long time ago.A week and two days since we chatted.

24) What kind of music band does no.8 like:
»Rock.and all branches of it.And Metal i suppose.Audiophile seh...

25) Does no.1 have any siblings:
» nope.

26) Will you woo no.3:
» no.even if i'm a girl.

27) How about no.7:
» He's rather cute.maybe..but most probably no.

28) Is no.4 single:
» Yeah.Most likely.

29) What is the surname of no.5:
» T-A-N

30) What’s the hobby for no.4:
» Trying out weird tricks,ie shuffling,watching athenewins on yooouuutubeee.Listening to his screamo

31) Does no.5 and 9 get along well?
» blank

32) Where is no.2 studying at?
» Singapore Polytechnic.

33) Talk something casual about no.1:
» Good friend.Rather tempermental at times.Foodie.

34) Have you tried developing feelings for no.8?
» No wayyyyy.He's my brudder leh.

35) Where does no.9 live at?
» blank

36) What colour does no.3 likes?
» i dunno.maybe white?or pink?judging from his RR caps colours.

37) Are no.5 and 1 best friends?
» Yeah.one calls another peabrain!

38) Does no. 1 have any pets?
» nope.unless its the hamsters?

39) Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world?
» Maybe in the team!but i still have my idols.

40) What is no. 10 doing now?
» blank

yesterday was a rainy sunday..i find myself slacking at home idling around these days,esp during sundays.man.sunday are suppose to be outing day.
and i get all tempermental on saturday nights cause there's so many thoughts that aren't in my reach and that all i could do is to think about them.cause i have no money to entertain them...zzzz

ok.so ytd,i chargedup my old muvo square.its still usesable but ipod over it.label bug...
the songs inside.ahh..so old..they were there since sec 2.
and what i did during sec 2?well,i was kinda nervous when i progress from a junior to a senior in sec 3.the songs reminded me especially of sec 2 year end.

first week of school didnt leave me with a great impression

AP chem-not bad.the teacher.will ask more questions now that i have the notes
A and P-good.teacher is good.will study for it.
Biophysics-wahlao..another cell bio like module..jialat liao
BSBM-will study.good teacher.
Maths-suck big time!but must study.cannot compromise on maths

there was a really good busker at TBP just now.her voice was damn good.and listening to her sing time after time.she soundded exactly like matchbox.

Realisation dawned again!

went out with sf and penny on friday.
i ran late.abit.gahh.and beard papa is so ex.i wished i could afford to buy a box of it and enjoy it all by myself.yum yum.
and went around singaporean's most loved hangout places.maybe for the exception of vivocity area.
and popeye is so much nicer than KFC and the nasty texas chicken.and its chicken was rather juicy too.

epic phailure

i don't think there is enough precautionary measures to tide us thru this bout of financial crisis.its either my bad that i haven't been saving enough and not spending money like water or that its just this bad.
i don't understand why food prices have to be increased due to "oh,everything's increasing,thats why we also must UP".i think its a very CB excuse.
i think if i were desperate enough,i would go to the temple down at river valley to have free lunch everyday.like many construction workers.if not for the kind of environment they cook in.and how my mum warned me about how they cooked their food.

and then.my mum's complaining about my tank being a white elephant.i feel very upset over this.and that i don't really want to tear the whole thing down cause its been with me for like four years?and then she says its not productive,and also nothing.cause nowadays i don't really have the time to care for it.
canoe trainings.study.sleep.training.period!
i think i can squeeze alil of my time to care for my fish i suppose.



and my maternal gmom commented that beatles look very sui.maybe i should tell my mum and chalk up a lil sum of money to get it for this christmas.

kryptonite

the song's been playing in my mind since training ended today.i bet i heard it somewhere,i think is that gig at bugis that eug was playing at a few years ago.maybe like sec 3?

school's gonna start like in 2 days?
training will be back to tentative tues,thurs and sat.i have to see if i can make it on wednesdays.
its gonna be stressed up and my abilities to cope are gonna be tested.sigh.....

and lately,the junior team has been rather off morale.i have no idea what happened and why this caused so much troubles for us.i hope this thing could tide thru.fast!


and damn it!
financial recession's imminent.damn the society and i don't understand why the government cannot suppress all these rising costs.can't they subsidise it like how M'sia did for their petrol in the past?its really pressing.money money money!
i think i have to live a bread and butter life next sem.cai png forever and everzxzxz.


and to end it off.
life's short.enjoy it.and live it well.healthy(not too overly conscious with health though.still must pamper oneself at times).

The game can also cause a repetitive stress symptom in that the brain will involuntarily picture tetris combinations even when the player is not playing the game (the Tetris effect).

what language in your lion king in ah


had a really enjoyable afternoon.with the sprint team.felt alil disconnected at first but things quickly patched up some conversations.ala carte buffet was really satisfying though LDL levels are gonna shoot up and trans fat gonna clog your arteries.but c'mon,life's short.lets enjoy it man.
and i hope YYH really likes his IRONMAN.its very nice.
and i saw yeu jing old friend at parklane mall AKA paradiz lan centre.long time no see,hao jiu bu jian lao peng you!chances of having a dinner together this holiday is slim but i would appreciate it greatly if there will be one.


had dinner at Carls at vivo with eug,spoke and walked around.i find that their iced tea is really good.so next time got place for people like me who don't like sugar in their drinks.
spoke and did what guys will do=D


school's gonna start.motivation's kicking in.pump it up man!study hard jiahong.cherish the time you have left with your teamies.
and woohoo my fridays are TGIF srsly,cause i only have 1 lesson.from 11am to 1.30pm.WOHOO.TGIF TGIF.time to rest well and prepare mentally for saturday's morning sprint.
MOTIVATIONZZZZZZZ






for you,a thousand times over my friend.

It's funny, I remember back one year when daddy had no money,
Mommy wrapped the Christmas presents up, and stuck 'em under the tree.
And said some of 'em were from me,
'Cause Daddy couldn't buy 'em.
I'll never forget that Christmas,
I sat up the whole night cryin'.
'Cause Daddy felt like a bum,
See, Daddy had a job.
But his job was to keep food on the table for you and mom,
And at the time every house that we lived in.
Either kept getting broken into and robbed, or shot up on the block,
And your mom was savin' money for you in a jar,
Tryin' to start a piggy bank for you.
So you could go to college,
Almost had a thousand dollars.
'Till someone broke in and stole it,
And I know it hurt so bad, it broke your Mama's heart.
And it seemed like everything was just starting to fall apart,
Mom and Dad was arguin' a lot.
So Mama moved back to the Chalmers flat, one bedroom apartment,
And Dad moved back to the other side of 8 mile on Novara.
And that's when Daddy when to California with his CD,
And met Dr. Dre and flew you and Mama out to see me.
But Daddy had to work, you and Mama had to leave me,
Then you started seein' Daddy on the TV.
And Mama didn't like it,
And you and Lainie were too young to understand it.
Papa was a rollin' stone, and Mama developed a habit,
And it all happened too fast for either one of us to grab it.
I'm just sorry you were there and had to witness it first hand,
'Cause all I ever wanted to do was just make you proud.

part of Eminem's Mockingbird.

heard it over late lunch at Aston's in cathay today.
can say that i'm quite into hip-hop these few days.and its really meaningful and all his lyrics are mostly bout family ties.and how easy is it for you to find such singers that pen down family issues as their lyrics nowadays.



its been quite a hiatus since i updated.and i'm looking forward to next week starting from sunday.
i know i havent been training much.and those thoughts really have crossed my mind.cos of this muscle pull again.its really disheartening.