Tell me, princess, now when did you last let your heart decide?

utmost clockwork

dude,you gotta wake up your idea.comms are in 2 months time and your 2km timings are still the same,more/less.what happened?did you ingest something wrong accidentally?what are you thinking during the whole 2km?was your mind elsewhere?





went to school with a fucking great mood,landed home in a fucking bad mood.
double session of biochemistry was good.at least i got more idea of what's going on.so,that leaves me with 2 more hours.one hour was used up for late lunch.last hour was spent at the library for revision,but it didn't turn out well.that well i mean.after-lunch aka thermogenesis kicked in after some time.found myself lying face down on the table.gave up and shut my eyes for the last ten minutes.
the scariest shit was molecular biology.managed to scrap through the first few slides,and then again,found myself staring into blank spaces when the class was ending.
i've got this feeling that the class's average is gonna be pulled up this time round.everyone else is mugging,and its scares me out.it makes me doubt if i have mugged enough,cause this is like my maximum threshold,although probably not that bad,there's still like 10% more to maximum,really 110% threshold.its like pushing at 120% for 10 seconds.its shit.its damn scary.to see everyone holding their notes in front of the lecturer,asking and clarifing and you know that you yourself,have doubts somewhere in between the pages and you havent discovered these doubts cause you havent read and you hope that after solo-reading,you could clear these doubts by yourself.

and i had a great evening.jon came over to my house to complete his literary works.as,if he completed!
spoke about the usual stuff,thanks dude.major hit again.
and i'm finally going out tomorrow evening.i need some breather before the next 2 weeks sets in,before everything infront of me becomes PFK,aldolase,GC,stationary phase,reverse non-polar phase,normal polar phase,FID,TCD,Le Chatlier's Principle...etc
and i really hope i could do well this semester,at least to bring up my hopeless grades again and pull me through and lastly to gain a step closer to uni entry.for that i can only hope.
next week shall be simple life.after school,home,study,school,row,home,study,row,home,rest,study,home,row,study,rest.

busy week.next week's gonna be worst.grip yourself,get ready for the worst...

misunderstanding

grats,i just screwed my life,up-down-left-right-centre-striaght and back,all in a period of 2 weeks.i think this is the fucking biggest mistake that i have ever done.

people are mostly good

bloodshed
poverty
civil war
refugees
rebel
Ak-47
photojournalism
blood diamond


依然还想着.你

hope its all not too late

something just hit my mind.instead of dwelling in this denial shit,i should just get my engines cracking and do my work.and instead of denialling,i should just think of proper ways to counter or mend them,if it could ever be mended.but at the end of the day,when i have done my best,i still hope that its all not too late.=)

late!

penned down a chunk of text today.long time since i manually wrote down how i felt.and it feels different.
and i've been very sleepy the past few days,its been quite some time since i dozed off during class.and its triggering some negative response from my conscious mind.not good!

I can see it in your eyes,you mean all of what you say.

a day late

No,no,no,no and no.some things are better off left at the back of your mind.

what made you hesitate
to tell me with words what you really feel
i can see it in your eyes you mean all of what you say
i remember so long ago, see i felt that same way


i feel so helpless.

Damage Control

friday,at home.
reading through binsan notes and reading off my novel.ended up slicing up the slab of roast beef that had been lying in the fridge since wednesday.
it aint so fantastic afterall,roast beef smelled almost like beef bakwa.but its a good source of protein and a good side dish for pasta or rice.

its sad,to learn about such things happening.never expected the fragility.but well,if only things were that magical,and both sides of the world could compromise.i'd imagine if i were in the shoes of others.but then again,if situations were the same,i would probably be the beast who ended up reverting back to the handsome prince form.and living happily ever after.
hang on there dude.

a bad dream

call it a nightmare,and i really thought it was happening below my blocks until my phone's alarm started to sound at six in the morning.i felt pretty uneasy after waking,and i was pretty worried about the string of events that happened.dwelled on it for a moment,sprung to my senses,and then silenced my phone and got back to sleep.

its magical,like how a thriller/supernatural plot unfolds,right infront of me.never expected to be the director,much less the lead:)

what if you found out that the thing you were looking for was never there at all.
and you had been trying to find it,rather anxiously.and had placed all confidence and ears on it and you never felt skeptical about anything about it,all along,until this one day,when you found out that it was never really there at all,in the first place,in the end.
all along,you had been playing your own tune and singing to your own melodies,smiling to yourself thinking how symphonic they sound,to you,and when others ask you about your tunes,you give them a smile and ignore their suggestions for a better piece.

burn in hell

my back is breaking.i need a good rest.if not i wont grow.
feeling very shit.very foul mood actually.
READ THIS
mr starfish lie gave me a wedgie today!ended up with a torn split in my shorts.THANKS UH
i make sure you get poked someday

emotional rollercoaster

maybe guys too suffer from post menstrual effects.
and i'm still stuck with the flu bug.

you want the potter?

its been kinda long,and short this week.
i tend to think too much,but at least i managed to spend some time at training this week,which managed to get my mind off some stuffs.

and while looking through some pictures on facebook,i realised how much i miss ncc.although it hasn't been a very enjoyable and busy unit back in ntss,i guess there were times that we could call our happy times.i bet wynn would agree with me on this.



i know i get affected very easily by the words of others,i have been trying to lead my own life,in the way i would like it to be for the past few days.but sometimes,i just heed advices like solutions.without thinking through and realising the consequences.

5 o' clock and a fire escape symphony,
Spilling out across the road and the square,
And the sky's the same as your own, do you think of me?
Do the parks, and trees, and the leaves, reach you, there?
After the rain, in the lonely hours he haunts me, calling out,
Again and again.

Sophia, Sophia, I'm burning, I'm burning.
It's a fire, it's a fire, I cannot put out,
Sophia, Sophia, I'm learning that some things,
I can't go without and one of of them is him.

And now I walk these streets like a stranger in my home town,
Learn the language, form the words when I speak,
But he changed me, I'm his ghost since he came around,
And now I count the hours and the days in the weeks.

Passion and silence,
Every word, every line, a measure,
It's the science of the soul,
And his books, they breathe a reason and now I want to know...

Sophia, Sophia, I'm burning, I'm burning,
It's a fire, it's a fire, I cannot put out,
Sophia, Sophia, I'm learning that some things,
I can't go without and one of of them is him.

You, with your new born eyes,
Have you ever loved a man like I love him?
Do you hurt but still feel alive, like never before?
Oh, Sophia, Sophia.

Sophia, Sophia, I'm burning, I'm burning,
It's a fire, it's a fire, I cannot put out,
Sophia, Sophia, I'm learning that some things,
I can't go without and one of of them is him.

i didn't bring along my iPod with me to school today yet this song kept playing in my head.
i like how she manage to put across sophia in a way which sounds like it's a fire

threshold
threshold
threshold
threshold
threshold
threshold
threshold
threshold
threshold
threshold
threshold
threshold
threshold
threshold
threshold
threshold
threshold
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threshold
threshold
threshold
threshold
threshold
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threshold
threshold

key word for today:threshold
and i'm done with molbio report and newater case study.two down,one more to go.
PS:this is worse than MSTs.

spoke to sf over the phone last night.she didn't sound very happy over the whole issue.and the points she gave made me thought about it all over again

a person who doesn't know what he likes=sad case