i leave everything for fate to decide.

the 27 havaianas chowchow was really plain emo.and great understanding,if you manage to understand.

it came in really helpful.maybe cause i needed some consolation.to get overrit.
oh well.
hope things can get better.and like that lo...

i want to go MIA!badly.....
i hoped everything that ever happened was a beautiful blemish.

the aftermath of jc life.
feeling the crunch already.
being in jc is not a walk in the park.confirmed!
i told myself to mug the weekdays off and party during the weekends.how now?

jae results will only be out 3 wks later..wtfzxzxzxzxzxzxzxz
okay.i made this choice myself.i shldnt regret,so lets just mug on.its only 2 years!

memory relapse...
i have been emoing,at least 4 out of the 7days in a week.maybe i should just wake up from all these worryings and stuff..just enjoy my life while i can,before all the mugging starts again.
why?why is everything so tough..why didnt i enjoy my life in the past 4 years.and now i start regretting.why!

hai.maybe i should stop blog hoppings.in the least to prevent me from worrying too much things.i should just take things easy.like wad they said at nff..i've got nothing to lose anyway..
but again,seriously speaking,i never liked moving on.its so hard to!but things change.well,then maybe when the time comes,i will have to accept it,whether i like it or not.whether its to me or to others.its just like that.hai

And that something that you said about being friends
Tell me how
Help me say the words out loud

and..well,its really tough for me to say this.and so awkward and so stupid to blog about it.
i dunno how to make it sound nice,
but i really treasure that night,the time i spent with you.i know that such things are not gonna happen again,maybe never.
and if you'd ever mistaken,she is just a friend.

i am very indecisive now.
my results only permit me to stay in CJ,thats the only jc that i will only go.die die only.even if you kill me..whack me up..call 1000000 gangsters chase after me..yeah thats it

whether to go poly is still a big question mark!
damn...i think saturday i better go course counselling with wynn they all

hai.its so heartening to part with people you know,even if its only 3 weeks.hai

its sad,so sad that even chowchows sent are regarding breakups..WTF!
i seem to have realised that it really isnt such a bad idea to stay on in NUM..you see,its this close kind of relationship that you cant get anywhere else.
maybe for the fact that the pay is measly and catered food sucks..and the fact that you have to work wkends..but well,i have to ask myself,eventually.do you regard the environment more,or the pay you get...and its just so fucking hard to make such emo choices.KNN


and after today's canoe trg,i felt that,it isnt so bad.and its really hard to part,even for the terrible vice-cap...so wad if he tortures you so much that you want to kan him during trg,but at the end of the day,such things are just so minute to worth mentioning..


so a little fact i realised.
decisions are all around us,in fact its everyday..its just about making the correct ones and not regretting them.nobody will force you to decide or ask you decide due to some factors..its just about yourself.and you not regretting after making the decision..yeah..thats how i think...in the bus ride...

fuck!hate it..results are out on thursday
and i know that poly shld be the way out...
though i have made many friends this new year,especially those form my class and IG.

its heartening to let go.but well,we can still meetup,even if we aint in the same sch..poly's term will only start in april..so i suppose i can still enjoy my longest break in life..i can still be able to meet up with you guys=D

today's day was at least better than the others.at least pe period.
hai..had 3 hours break.chatted about songs and other stuff...and well,you know luh...
bio lecture was boring as usual,but surprisingly,had more energy today.felt more engergised.
cl lesson was emo time!wrote a bloody crappy story about a broken family.i felt better after writing it though.but i just hope the teacher understands.

and pe was darn..didnt stretched enough.thus had cramps in the calves.shit man.
and was kenaed arrowed to be pe rep.okay nvm
but in the least,if you want me to be a rep,dont steal my job..why count with me at my back.shit!
if you really want to show so much,just volunteer!its not as if anyone disagrees.


and i am labelled chao ah beng in class.
sia la,wad an interesting nick.i never thought i could be one.haha,at least not anywhere in ntss.ghaha...
and classmates,please converse more in chinese.its your root man..im somehow losing the touch of it already...

I think I've already lost you
I think you're already gone
I think I'm finally scared now
You think I'm weak - but I think you're wrong
I think you're already leaving
Feels like your hand is on the door
I thought this place was an empire
But now I'm relaxed - I can't be sure

I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - I think too much
I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing

If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you

I bet you're hard to get over
I bet the room just won't shine
I bet my hands I can stay here
I bet you need - more than you mind

I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - that I know too much
I can't relate and that's a problem I'm feeling

If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you

I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - do I talk too much
I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing

If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you

FUCK EMO!
i have never been significant in anyone's life.
just let me dissappear,dissolve,and leave.

时间过得真快。成绩快要放榜。那我的地位将会传移到哪里？
我可能退出公初，继续工作，直到poly开课。
我认为初院不是我那杯茶。我不敢再面对两年的死读书，最后考来的成绩不理想。
我想花多些十间，和朋友在一起。我很后悔，四年前没向别的学身一样，好好的enjoy.我很遗憾！

emo posts these few days,until the whole thing is over.i would really like it if things are gonna continue like this forever,we dont take results,and just attend school like the past few weeks.its just so much better.hai.

I didn't cry the day you moved away
Didn't think that I would feel this pain
Until I saw the stranger that was you

Whatever happened to our innocence
And that something that you said about being friends
Tell me how
Help me say the words out loud

Could it be
That nothing's gonna change
Cuz time has got a way of taking back
Everything you thought you had
Can you see?
The girl you used to be
The one I lost when I let go of you
Or whatever happened to...
Mary Jane


(Ah, Ah.)
(Ah, Ah.)

I need to wake up from this state of mind
The situation is a staying kind
I gotta get your memory out of my head

Would you catch me if I had to fall
Would you even find the time without it all
Tell me how
Help me say the words out loud

Could it be


That nothing's gonna change
Cuz time has got a way of taking back
Everything you thought you had
Can you see?
The girl you used to be
The one I lost when I let go of you
Or whatever happened to...
Mary Jane

(Ah, Ah.)
(Ah, Ah.)

Cuz time is taking back
Everything I thought we had
Tell me how
(Mary Jane...)
Help me say the words out loud

Could it be
That nothing's gonna change
Cuz time has got a way of taking back
Everything you thought you had
Can you see?
The girl you used to be
The one I lost when I let go of you
Or whatever happened to...
Mary Jane

(Ah, Ah.)
Or whatever happened to...
(Ah, Ah.)
Mary Jane.


store was playing this today.fuck emo!

sorry for being so black faced and so bloody emo these past few days ppl.im in a terribly bad disposition to react to most circumstances.maybe im just too bothered by some things.haiz.

i just have too many things to speak to you about.and there is just like this little time for us to talk.i dunno when can we ever meet and talk like that day again.i really dunno.hmm,i guess you would be staying on since you went through.and maybe my time in CJ is up.
i have since screwed up so many things that shldnt meant to have happened and made things so damn awkward for you.i seriously apologise.
after all that is done.its all up to you.i'd know that youre a darn good friend.at least for now.=D
and after this friday,things are gonna take a huge turn....i know cj is not a place for me.at least not 2 years of canoe+bio+china studies+maths.i dont think i can study,after such a long break.my mind's just not there...i cant do a 2 years course for nuts.i cant take the stress of A lvls again.

whatever happens.i will wait.at least for now.
you said april.i understood what you meant and the stress that youre going through right now.i said i would..i know youre gonna see this.and wonder why would someone be so foolish..maybe youre right....and i was indeed foolish.
haiiiii............

It's not over tonight
Just give me one more chance to make it right
I may not make it through the night
I won't go home without you

canoe training are killing me.
if i ever stayed on in CJ,i wont continue in canoeing.
i will switch to another bloody cca.
prolly jc life aint for me.its so hectic and Alvls at end of two years again.sian....

You light the skies, up above me
A star, so bright, you blind me, yeah
Don’t close your eyes
Don’t fade away, don’t fade away-

Oh

Yeah you and me we can ride on a star
If you stay with me girl
We can rule the world-
Yeah you and me we can light up the sky
If you stay by my side
We can rule the world-

If walls break down, I will comfort you
If angels cry, oh I’ll be there for you
You've saved my soul
Don’t leave me now, don’t leave me now

Oh

Yeah you and me we can ride on a star
If you stay with me girl
We can rule the world
Yeah you and me, we can light up the sky
If you stay by my side
We can rule the world-

Ooooooooh


All the stars are coming out tonight
They're lighting up the sky tonight
For you, for you
All the stars are coming out tonight
They’re lighting up the sky tonight
For you, for you-

Ooooooooh

Yeah you and me we can ride on a star
If you stay with me girl
We can rule the world
Yeah you and me, we can light up the sky
If you stay by my side
We can rule the world

All the stars are coming out tonight (oooooooh)
They’re lighting up the sky tonight
For you, for you-
All the stars are coming out tonight
They're lighting up the sky tonight
For you,for you-

All the stars, are coming out tonight
They're lighting up the sky tonight
For you, for you-
All the stars, are coming out tonight
They're lighting up the sky tonight
For you,for you-


now i got it,why ivan said that it was a damn beautiful song=P

reported work instead of sch today.
feels like shit.i dunno why i being to get sick of work nowadays,at least i spent my day attending to stocks instead of customers today.not that bad,just tired.

i have too many thoughts.i just need the right time to blog them down.

thanks guys for all that you've all done for me yesterday.it was really fun to be caked in the face,considering it was my first time being caked.and the feeling was...cant tell.i felt so happy after all the celebrations.its like i havent been celebrating my bday like this for nuts years.friends around me and singing bday song..its just so elated.
thank you guys,for the coffee cake and for the songs.and for the white plastic flower and for the outing:)

When I see your smile,
Tears run down my face.
I can't replace.
And now that I'm strong, I have figured out,
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul.
And I know I'll find deep inside me,
I can be the one.

I will never let you fall. (let you fall.)
I'll stand up with you forever.
I'll be there for you through it all. (through it all.)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven.

It's okay.
It's okay.
It's okay-e-ay-e-ay.

Seasons are changing,
And waves are crashing,
And stars are falling all for us.
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter,
I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall. (let you fall.)
I'll stand up with you forever.
I'll be there for you through it all. (through it all.)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven.


'Cause you're my, you're my, my-e-y-e-y,
My true love, my whole heart.
Please don't throw that away.
'Cause I'm here... for you!
Please don't walk away and,
Please tell me you'll stay... here!

Whoa-oh!
Stay!
Whoa-oh!

Use me as you will!
Pull my strings just for a thrill!
And I know I'll be okay,
Though my skies are turning gray!

I will never let you fall!
I'll stand up with you forever!
I'll be there for you through it all,
Even if saving you sends me to heaven!

I will never let you fall!
I'll stand up with you forever!
I'll be there for you through it all,
Even if saving you sends me to heaven!

ry,cant i be emo just for awhile.its the morning man.who gets so high in the morning.and your forehead really looks damn oily in the bright lights in the canteen..

haiz..im so ffing emo and troubled these few days.sometimes i do agree that ignorance is bliss.
somehow,its just so much better to not know so much.i will get carried away worrying all these nonsense.damn!

tmr is a new day.lets just forget all the troubles and get on with curriculum.canoe trials tmr.grrrrrr.
and ig lunch over at sch canteen..oh well....

its been a tiring day.woke up damn early today and i was surprised that i was taking like the first bus to school.if ony it was tmr and i do hope that i wont be late tmr.cause its been wad i've been waiting for for the past few days.for the class orientation activities at least.
second day and i have been opening up to the guailaness of my classmates..all of them are like so damn weird.and i still miss ig17 the most..my class is..well,maybe takes time to get used to....
shldnt have chose csc.and i end up grouping with all the lit students..
and hc guy was right about everyone speaking in english.and he's one good chap la.where else can you find someone like him.organising efforts all go to him man..its only been few days and he's enthu to come up with an outing.maybe its a channel for him to forget all his troubles.


your guardian angel is a nice song.wynn was right.i was gonna be in love with this song some day or another.

wth man....................................................
why am i being so emotional on leaving their IGs and starting a new life in individual classes.

and according to the two options that will occur.
i think our IG would continue to go out in IG outings instead of just being hi-bye frens when we see each other in school.
and wth man.....................there are people saying that jc life suits me.........it just fusses me up.and no more dilemmas!
im gonna see my results first

i'm feeling rather emo these few days.
which explains my double post today

somehow,when i give things a deep thought.i will tend to regret some decisions and stuff.
somehow,i must agree with one statement that sz made.
and somehow i kept this in my mind all the time since i read it.he said "in life,there aren't many things with second chances"
and i agree.

i do feel abit lag now regretting over some things i havent done in my secondary sch days.
i didnt hung out at town like wad many others did,nor did i play soccer or basketball everyday after school at nearby hdb soccer courts.i didnt have to courage to play around with frens and didnt make "ah ka liao" brothers.but i do have a bunch of really sentimental friends that had close thoughts.

and now,jc.wad if i stayed on?
my reason for staying on is the fact that i get to make more frens and get to hang out at far east after sch.i know its a lame reason.but maybe..

maybe i need another round of empower.sounds like

mind wasnt so clear today due to lack of sleep ytd.the meetup with director ended quite late.
he's always stressing the same few points,not to commit wrongs that may end you in terrible states.to be more proactive in pushing sales and to garner our enthusiasm.isnt it square 1 like wad he said to us during our training.and hell,another corporate meeting next wk.how am i to do it?
and i feel as if im gonna be the one being eliminated.not that i dont push.maybe just that i am like wad colin said;too shy.

oh well...
had fun during orientation.just that i feel that i dont speak up more and ppl mistaking me for being quiet and not again,the cycle continues.

tmr is the last day.must push proactiveness.

and if you readers got time.
do give mighty morphin power rangers soundatrack a chance of listening,really evokes memories.:)

well,happy new year folks.another year