push up


i have a thousand and one thoughts running through my mind while im in knock it down position.its really shitz when you are damn beat and drained of energy at the end of training and the last thing you wanna hear from the seniors is to hurry up,gather down at the benches there.and then,dear mr president will start his usual routine of knock-it-downs.
every moment is hallucinated to be the worst by my ever-so-weak mind.and i am there partially hanging,partially trying very hard to do the pushups,trying to make out when will all these end?when will he say.c'mon,last 10 ready?its your last 10.do it well and we can finish.
and ever so often,there will be a restart to 50,got people use leg supports.

you know how i feel,i really felt like giving up.its just so shitz.like a bloody routine that you do with your body but in the absence of the determination.its bloody determination that plays the most part man!and your missing out on it.haiz.i cant believe it.
just months ago,when you were still in NUM,hanlong was there asking eh you can tahan pushups anot."yeah".
then can la.and sherman was there being in sucha shocked state and asked that were you really serious about joining spct.
you know,im making false hopes.like a freaking party-pooper.like how can i?
its just 2-3 months into training and now you say you wanna give up just because of miniscule pushups.c'mon man.....you havent even proceeded to do your first marathon,then your first C event,then NCC.and now you even have the thought of giving up?haiz,i really cannot accept it myself.even though its only a small random thought,but hell?how can i.



its shitxzxzxwxzxwzwxzxzwxwzewxzwxwzwxzwxzwxwzxwzexzewxzewxezwxezwxezwxtztxtzxtztxtzxtztxztxtz


i need to be positive,and i need to train well.and go for polo trainings.i need the strength.most importantly.

glenn!from now on,we shall discuss about our results and future in our CCA.
tak boleh tank then we see how.
need to pioritise siaaaaaaaaa.