Be my mirror,my sword,my shield

wts!holidays are ending real soon...
and term 2 gonna start.
i think i should really concentrate on my CCA and studies and not care so much about other stuff.
actually,i havent been caring about going out either.that alot of time is spent over at MAC that i actually know some of the things inside out.like where is every school's shed and how deep some parts of the reservoir actually is. and it sucks.and you actually see quite the same faces of people that you know who is regular and who is the most chio and who is whose jiao lian and how demanding some of the jiao lian is.

and now that i can actually make a quarter of a circle with the canoe,i shall try more of it.
and the more i try,the more familiar i get with that yellow training boat.

at least now that i have a partner rowing C with me,i feel more assured and less pressurised.
much more better than the beginning with only me doing it.



and there's really one thing im most afraid of.
i'm really worried that i give up halfway with the C and then i can't really row the K and then i have nowhere to go.
i'm really afriad of capping in the lanes out there.and not being able to get back up on the boat.and swimming to the pontoon actually take away so much of my energy.
and that eventually i cant cope with my studies and that i have to give it up and concentrate on my studies.

just thinking about all these pessimistic stuff is enough to force the shit into me