met up with an ex-relative today.
well,really had a good chat.and realised so many things that i have been doing all these years that i didnt realise.well,he told me some of them.

i just found out and confirmed that i must always be on the run.that i cannot stay put in one place.
he told me that he once brought me to a library when i was young and that i must always be touching stuff or tumbling around.
i guess it still remains after all these years.things rarely change.
and well,he spoke about so many things.and haiz...touched on some pretty sensitive points.
and i guess i really have to think hard what i really want.
its like everyone's driving the same point..but they are just from different perspectives.

chan said it before.about piority
mum always says it.nagging about studies and stuff but now they are decreased.
ex-colleagues over at NUM have been saying that studying life is so much better than working cause its so relaxed.
practically everyone is driving this same piont.

i'm so died la.somehow,i must begin studying now.


and he spoke about his story with my auntie.
and...
almost everything he said made such a punch on me.and i feel so guilty for everything i did.

But the more I think, the less I believe it
And the more I want you here with me