i feel guilty.somehow,im more aware of how i speak and how i treat ppl now.all that insensitive stuff can really hurt.and i feel that this is really the extreme and you cant control 100% of wad youre trying to do.its just too fake..well,how people think of you is always present,but try not to overdo those antics that irritate ppl and make ppl think as if they are like you.
i must understand that not everyone if like me,and i may well have to change to suit how others may feel.tsk.i dunno wad im writing,and i think this is going nowhere.
maybe i need more eu courses..shit.i find them really useful at least till now...its like when you think that when you are so more matured than others when someone who's more understanding comes and tell you that you aint interested in how others feel..sometimes,you just cant be contented with wad you are.=D.and,at least its better now than later,i dun wanna kena all these during army or worse in the society when ppl stays away from you and thinks that this guy so hao lian,or like he thinks he so good and i end up hanging out with people that are in the lowest forms or wad...seriously,i dunno why am i typing all these...its not bout flattening my big ego..i know i have a big ego and after having it for so long,its tough to get it deflated,you just cant accept it...ahh shit.
sometimes,life is not all gossips and fun with your pals...im now trying to find back how i felt alright bout myself..i was never satisfied with how i am or isit...tsk.after so little consideration today,maybe i have gona a lil overboard with stuff..maybe its back to times at the beginning of sec 3,when i felt so careful bout how i will offend ppl ard or how i am to them..and now,thinking that everyone ard knows you,you start to get alil more relaxed,you let yourself out and stuff..
shit...and i aint asking for people to pity me..maybe its just self-pity here.i guess all these wadever you call is enuff..3 paragraphs and it well can be a short compo..hah...i cant even look after myself,hah and i wanna talk about liking people...wad a big joke.hah
i must understand that not everyone if like me,and i may well have to change to suit how others may feel.tsk.i dunno wad im writing,and i think this is going nowhere.
maybe i need more eu courses..shit.i find them really useful at least till now...its like when you think that when you are so more matured than others when someone who's more understanding comes and tell you that you aint interested in how others feel..sometimes,you just cant be contented with wad you are.=D.and,at least its better now than later,i dun wanna kena all these during army or worse in the society when ppl stays away from you and thinks that this guy so hao lian,or like he thinks he so good and i end up hanging out with people that are in the lowest forms or wad...seriously,i dunno why am i typing all these...its not bout flattening my big ego..i know i have a big ego and after having it for so long,its tough to get it deflated,you just cant accept it...ahh shit.
sometimes,life is not all gossips and fun with your pals...im now trying to find back how i felt alright bout myself..i was never satisfied with how i am or isit...tsk.after so little consideration today,maybe i have gona a lil overboard with stuff..maybe its back to times at the beginning of sec 3,when i felt so careful bout how i will offend ppl ard or how i am to them..and now,thinking that everyone ard knows you,you start to get alil more relaxed,you let yourself out and stuff..
shit...and i aint asking for people to pity me..maybe its just self-pity here.i guess all these wadever you call is enuff..3 paragraphs and it well can be a short compo..hah...i cant even look after myself,hah and i wanna talk about liking people...wad a big joke.hah
posted by jiahong at
5:20 PM
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